Interview: “Having many children gives an extraordinary feeling of solidarity, friendship. On the eve of Mother's Day, an interview with a mother of many children in October Interview with a mother of many children on Mother's Day
A family with 13 children lives in Novokuznetsk. After the loss of his wife last year, the care of the children fell on the courageous shoulders of the father. The journalists of VashGorod.ru visited them. Father Oleg Nekrasov and eldest daughter Nina spoke about the life of a large and friendly family.
VG: Oleg, tell us, how many children do you have?
HE: Our family is very large, especially by today's standards. My wife and I have 13 children: nine sons and four daughters. I must say right away that the children are all relatives.
The eldest son Ivan is 21, Konstantin is 20, daughter Nina is 19, Alexander is 18, then Alena was born, she is 16, Tatyana is 15, Dmitry is 13, Viktor is 12, Irina is 11, Vladimir is 9, Andrey is 7, Egor is 5 and Alexey is 2 years old. The eldest son got married, he already has two children: a one-year-old daughter and a son who is not yet two months old.
VG: Did you and your wife dream of a big family?
HE: We wanted children, and it didn't matter to us how many there would be. In total, 15 children were born, but, unfortunately, two died.
In general, neither I nor my wife dreamed that we would have so many children. The wife was always told that she would have big family, because she loved to cook so much that she sometimes got carried away and cooked such a volume of food that she could feed an entire army of soldiers. Neither my wife nor I have ever been against a large family, and we have it.
VG: Oleg, tell us how you met your soul mate?
HE: I will not tell you all the details, because I do not remember the smallest details. I met Oksana, my future wife at the dance. Then I worked in VD-30 as a driver, and she was a telephone operator. Everything happened somehow by itself without any special features.
Nina: Parents have a difference of 15 years (smiles).
VG: Do you confuse the children's birthdays?
HE: Well, of course you don't. By the way, many people ask this question, but I answer one thing - they didn’t fall out of the tub at the same time. And how can you forget the days when your children were born.
VG: How do you manage to find an approach to each child?
HE: This question is very interesting, but not difficult. Only at first glance it seems that it is difficult to find an approach to the child, it does not matter if he is alone in the family or there are thirteen of them. I will give free advice to parents - you need to communicate and talk with children every day. Then you will learn to feel them intuitively. Knowing their child, parents will understand his mood.
VG: How did your relatives feel about the fact that your family grew larger and larger every year?
HE: To put it mildly, everyone was horrified. The older children were born in the difficult 90s. It was not easy then, but we managed, although even the administration did not support us. It used to happen that we would go with my wife to the authorities, as soon as we name the number of children, we hear in response one thing, "And who makes you give birth." Helping large families began quite recently.
VG: Are you from a large family?
HE: Compared to ours, no. I come from a family with four children: three sons and one daughter.
VG: How does the morning start in your big family?
HE: The new day is starting off very interesting. Everyone is running, going to school, some to work. There is, however, a slight inconvenience - in our house there is one toilet. Sometimes a queue gathers near her, but I must say, this rarely happens. In the summer we will make another toilet with the boys.
VG: Where do your children study?
HE: All, without exception, study at the Orthodox gymnasium. The eldest daughter Nina is studying at the seminary, and this was her desire. She decided in the 9th grade that she would go there.
The eldest sons Ivan and Kostya still have a technical mindset. They both work with cars. Repair them.
VG: How did you choose names for your children?
HE: I gave the names (laughs). The wife named only one son Dmitry. I tried to choose simple euphonious Russian names. In general, it was like this with us: when my wife was in the hospital, we thought with older children, discussed different options, but in the end we settled on the name that I proposed. The wife, of course, offered her options, but it was too late.
VG: Who did you want boys or girls the most?
HE: We didn't care if it was a boy or a girl. We were glad to everyone.
WG: Who cooks the food? How many liters of borscht do you have to boil?
HE: When the children were small, both my wife and I cooked. It also happened that the children got used to what I cooked and refused to eat something else. Why it was so I do not know. Now the girls have become adults, now they cook for our entire horde. But I also help them, sometimes I cook.
Nina : Of course, we are different from a family with one or two children. We cook borsch in a 15-liter saucepan, for example, we buy dumplings or meatballs not in kilograms, but in boxes (laughs). Yes, and you have to stand at the stove more than once a week, but three to four times a day.
VG: How do you spend holidays, for example, New Year?
Nina: On holidays, we traditionally gather with the whole family at a large table. When my mother was alive, she made a separate gift for each. And this year we made one big surprise for everyone, put them in a big package of sweets, that was the gift. In the evenings, we gather with the whole family by the fireplace, talking to the crackling of logs, drinking tea.
VG: Oleg, did someone help you and your wife raise children?
HE: What are you, no, we did not have assistants. My wife and I raised everyone ourselves, raised them to their feet, taught them. After all, we gave birth for ourselves, and not for someone else. Yes, we have neither grandparents, everyone died a long time ago.
VG: Is it difficult for you financially?
HE: Of course, we do not live without difficulties. Sometimes financially it is difficult. But we manage. They saved up some money to sheathe the outside of the house, insulate it. Last year, we invited independent experts who calculated that it would take 500,000 rubles to insulate our large house and change the roof. Despite this amount, we will purchase materials ourselves.
VG: Oleg, what else do you do besides raising children?
HE : Household chores and raising children take up a lot of time. For several years we had a home kindergarten, our children were his pupils. There I worked as a junior teacher. Then we were banned from doing it. Now we live on children's allowances, a survivor's pension. About 50 thousand rubles are received per month. In March I will be 60 years old and I will retire. Plus, older sons help.
VG: Do local authorities help you in any way?
HE: The authorities help our family. For example, in 2010 they gave a Gazelle car. The house in which we now live was also purchased with the help of government officials. The house is large with high ceilings, large kitchen and four rooms. I think that in the summer I will make another spacious living room. Previously, there was a veranda, but I want to convert it into a warm, cozy room. We also have a large garden.
VG: Now you live in a spacious house. Where did you live before?
HE: For a long time we lived on the upper colony in a house where there were only 35 square meters, with small rooms and a small garden of six acres. That house was old and very worn out, it was built back in the 50s of the last century. Despite the fact that the house was small, all our children were born in it.
VG: Oleg, and finally, wish something to young parents?
HE: I wish only one thing, love your children and do not be afraid to give birth.
Galina Mikhailovna Chizhik is a mother of many children, a pretty woman and a good conversationalist. She has a sense of humor, without unnecessary coquetry, she answers all questions. It is interesting to communicate with her, and some of the facts given by her are simply shocking. Like, for example, life situations with letters. But first things first.
- Galina Mikhailovna, the issue of the newspaper will be published on the eve of Mother's Day, so the question is immediately - how many children do you have?
Four of my sons, two adopted, in the end six, but all mine.
- Some kind of complex arithmetic, the result confuses me, so explain yourself what's what.
Everything is very simple. Valery, Vitaly, Seryozha and Dima are my sons, and Alexander and Pavel are the sons of my second husband. They were 11 and 9 years old when they were left without a mother. I became their mother, and they became my children.
- Are you a Luninchanka?
I am from the Minsk region. She studied at the Smilovichi Agricultural College. In 1969, she ended up in Luninets due to the fact that she married a guy from the village of Flerovo. I knew him for two days, and on the third we were already married.
- What a twist! How so? It's very prompt.
In fact, we had a year and a half correspondence with him. The girls of that time had such a fashion, to write to the soldiers. So I wrote a letter to the army, to the first person I met, as they say. He answered, a correspondence began. He even sent me a photo. Didn't like it, tore up the card and threw it away. He then wrote, they say, return the photo, but there is nothing to return. After his demobilization from the army, they met and signed on the third day of a real acquaintance. In reality, it turned out better than in that photo.
- Galina Mikhailovna, were you happy in that marriage?
Certainly. I loved him, how not to love - we have four sons. The husband dreamed of a daughter. When I was pregnant with my third, they told me that, most likely, there would be a girl, but fate decreed otherwise. We lived like everyone else at that time. They worked and raised children. At first I worked on a collective farm as a livestock specialist. And after the first maternity leave, she got a job at the KBO. She was a knitter, then a master, then a warehouse manager. She worked there for 30 years. Her husband, Adam Nikolaevich, worked as an electrician, for a long time he was a master of industrial training at the 146th school. He passed away 26 years ago. He was sick a lot, he had kidney problems, everything was enough for him and me ...
In addition to your husband’s illness, what difficulties did you have to face in life, it was probably difficult to raise boys?
I have never had any problems with boys. The guys grew up obedient, everyone knew the range of their duties around the house, they were not excellent students at school, but everyone studied well. We had everything "sorted out". Now my daughters-in-law are “ladies” for such husbands. I taught them everything, they can do everything, they even do “seasoning”. But seriously, they are like daughters to me and are grateful that I raised such sons. We had a problem with housing. The line for the apartment moved slowly. We were waiting for the fourth, and we have a living space of 15 square meters. We went to the district executive committee, but all to no avail. And then I dared to write a letter to Valentina Tereshkova. The world's first female cosmonaut was then vice-president of the Women's International Democratic Federation, a member of the World Peace Council and a member of the Central Committee of the CPSU.
Wow! And how did Tereshkova react to your letter, did it even reach the addressee, did Valentina Tereshkova answer you?
Got it. Moreover, Tereshkova's response was sent to the Luninets District Executive Committee and we were immediately allocated a four-room apartment.
- Galina Mikhailovna, who did your children become?
Valera graduated from a military school in Kaliningrad, Vitaly entered the Brest Polytechnic, but dropped out. Then he studied to be an agronomist, but he does not work in his specialty - he serves in a military unit. Seryozha is a musician, he served in Kaliningrad, in the orchestra of the Baltic Fleet, then graduated from a university with a degree in veterinary medicine. Dmitry graduated from the military academy in Minsk. Sasha and Pavel studied at the Luninets schools, received professions, and are working.
- Are your sons friendly, do they maintain relations with each other?
Well, they are brothers. Both ours and the adoptive ones are friends, there is not much difference between them and no one says that they are ours, but these are the adoptive ones. They all talk to each other like family. Support each other, help in everything. They constantly call me, they come on vacation, they bring children for vacation. I already have six grandchildren.
- Galina Mikhailovna, did you have any influence on your guys in choosing life partners?
In no case. I was put before the fact, that's all. I did not choose my daughters-in-law, but I respected their choice, so I accepted them as my daughters.
- How did your personal life develop after the death of your husband?
I was alone for eight years, but then I met one man. This is Nikolai Aleksandrovich Lazarevich. We have been with him for 18 years.
- What do you do in free time, they say that pensioners have a lot of it?
It is not true. There is almost no time left. We have a dacha in Yazhevki. There is a large farm there - piglets, turkeys, two dogs, two cats ... Everyone needs to be given attention, everyone needs to be taken care of. So you don't get bored.
- Besides housework, what do you like to do?
I am a very active person, I communicate a lot with people - both live and virtually. I mastered the computer, I communicate with friends in in social networks. I even go to the pool sometimes. She learned to swim at the age of 60. In general, I enjoy life, no matter what. Sometimes I visit sanatoriums. I work a lot, I move a lot. Life is Beautiful.
- Do you have a dream?
Once they dreamed of a daughter, then of an apartment. Now I want everyone to be healthy - children, daughters-in-law, grandchildren ...
Galina Mikhailovna, you are a wonderful wife, mother and grandmother. We congratulate you on the holiday - Mother's Day! Let your life be as active and eventful, bring only joy and pleasure. What can you say to women, mothers?
Do not be afraid to give birth, children are wonderful. And I wish you all good health, and to receive as many positive emotions from life as possible.
With God, life is easier and more joyful. The mother of many children Angelina Valeryevna Burdeynaya is convinced of this, with whom the correspondent of the newspaper Lukoyanovskaya Pravda F. Kedyarkina spoke.
“Two years ago, the family of Angelina Valerievna Burdeina settled in the village of Kudeyarovo, Lukoyanovsky District. All family members became parishioners of the temple in honor of All Saints. A large family, and even a churched one, is still a rare phenomenon in our district, which cannot but be interested. Father Alexy Silin suggested that I get to know this family a long time ago. And here the occasion arrived in time - Mother's Day.
And here I am in the Bourdein's house. Children run out of all the doors in the hallway different ages. The hostess introduces them by name. And for a closer acquaintance, we are together in a spacious living room with soft sofas, a piano, a computer desk and a bookcase. In the red corner I notice a family iconostasis with a lamp. Time for the evening - the whole family, except for the father, is assembled, the children have finished their classes at school and in circles. The eldest son Alexander came home on a visit from the city of Sarov, where he serves on a contract basis in a paramilitary guard.
Mom begins a leisurely story about how and where their large family was born. I am sure that his bright moments will forever remain in the memory of children. Very many of us, having lived to old age, later lament with the deepest regret that we were not curious, were not interested in our roots, did not ask our parents about the past. It always seems to us that we still have time, that there is a lot of time ahead.
Angelina Valerievna comes from a military family. Since childhood, the only daughter, together with her parents, got used to moving from garrison to garrison. After the military father retired, the family settled in Kazakhstan, where the girl graduated pedagogical institute, faculty foreign languages. She got married there and gave birth to her first child, Sasha. Thanks to him, together with her husband, she began to attend an Orthodox church, where her son studied at Sunday school. Years later, life with God according to Christian rules became a way of life for their young family. After some time, the couple got married.
Angelina Valerievna inherited from her father housing in the Astrakhan region determined the further choice of place of residence. In Akhtubinsk, they had four more children - Maria, Anastasia, Milica and Peter.
“Unfortunately, it became unbearable to live there because of the heat,” says Angelina Valeryevna, “it became impossible to endure the almost round-the-clock air temperature above plus fifty degrees. And my husband and I decided to move to central Russia with its temperate climate. They chose the Lukoyanovsky district, the village of Atingeevo. At first, everything suited us there: beautiful nature, rich in gifts, rural school, necessary social institutions. But gradually it all began to curl up and close. And my husband and I realized the futility of life there, especially for children. And four years ago we bought a house in Kudeyarov. My husband works as a driver on long-haul flights, and I take care of the house and children. Our Varya was born here - the sixth child in the family.
- How do you manage to endure all these moves, changes with such big family- I ask Angelina Valerievna.
“With God’s help,” she replies. – We, people, make decisions to change some conditions of our lives and ask the Lord for help. I won’t say that every day, but quite often we make morning and evening rules with the whole family, regularly visit the temple, ask the priest for blessings. And if something still fails to do as planned, we do not despair.
But in this moment, - Angelina continues her story, - everything is going well. While my husband is on long-haul flights, I run the household with the help of my children. To support the family budget, we keep three goats, piglets, and feathered animals. We set a watch for everyone. Children with early childhood they can do a lot around the house.
The day in the Burdein family is full of deeds and worries. In the morning, four children go to school, which is not far from home - a ten-minute walk. There is no need now to wake up the children at six in the morning, as was the case in Atingeevo, and go through the snowy, uncleaned streets to the bus to get to classes at the Shandrovskaya school. Their performance has improved, all children study at "4" and "5".
Everyone has time for their favorite activities. Up to three to four hours homework under the supervision of their mother, the guys, accompanied by her, go to circles and sections. Eighth grader Masha is engaged in a school photo circle. She has already decided on the choice of profession - she will be a doctor.
“She likes to devote her free time to reading,” her mother tells about her, “in our house there are no crime literature and women's romance novels. From childhood, children are taught to read useful for the soul and mind: adventures, fairy tales, everyday Orthodox stories, natural science publications.
Very often, the younger ones sit around Masha, and she reads aloud to them. The eldest daughter from time to time replaces her mother in the kitchen. She loves to cook unusual dishes for the whole family according to her own recipes, although she sometimes looks into recipe books.
Seventh-grader Nastya is only a year younger than Maria. He studies without triples, and after classes he hurries to the art school, where he attends the art department for the second year. “Nastya loves to draw since childhood,” explains Angelina Valerievna, “she has mastered computer graphics well.” Sister Milica, a 4th grade student, also practices playing the piano here. Thanks to her passion, music often sounds in the Bourdein's house now - an instrument was bought for a girl for homework.
Second-grader Peter chose a purely masculine occupation for himself - the combat sambo section at the Kolos sports and recreation center. “To be strong and protect the girls,” he explains his choice.
The youngest, Varvara, also tries to keep up with her brothers and sisters. She is about five years old, but she already has her favorite books. And since this autumn, she began to attend the figure skating section at the Kolos sports and recreation center.
But the older Alexander's classes and plans for the future are already more serious and thorough. He discusses them with his parents. But most often with my mother, who is always at home, next to me. Alexander is already quite an adult, an accomplished person. He graduated from two technical colleges, is studying in absentia as a lawyer, and plans to find a job in the internal affairs bodies.
After serving in the army, the young man remained to serve under the contract. He is preparing to start a family and get housing as a contract soldier. The younger sisters and brother are waiting with curiosity when the brother will bring his chosen one to their family, how they will make friends with her.
All life processes in this large and friendly family are calmly, hardworking and with great love for God and loved ones, Mom leads. Her warm, bright house is never empty. It is filled with useful works that develop the soul and body. Friends often visit her children. Guests are always welcome here, for everyone there is a kind word, tasty treats and interesting activities.”
Text and photo: Faina Kedyarkina.
When it comes to having many children, many can say this: “My great-grandmother raised ten and nothing!” But these days, nevertheless, large families are a rather rare phenomenon. The families of the past are very different from those of today. In modern large families, the main burden of education falls on only two people - mom and dad.
How do spouses decide on many children? How do you plan your time and distribute responsibilities? Where do they get strength? How does the family spend their leisure time?
We present to your attention an interview with mothers of large families. All of them are young, successful, beautiful women. All of them break the stereotype that having many children is the lot of representatives of a low social level. All of them are happy to talk about themselves, give helpful tips, share their optimism and happiness with us.
Catherine
: 35 years. Before the birth of children, she worked as the head of the project management department in an IT company. After the birth of her third child, she opened a small toy store with her husband. Three children: son Leo, 6.5 years old - a future first grader. Daughters Alexandra, 4 years old and Daria, 1.5 years old. He dreams of moving from Moscow to the Moscow region to his own house, which is currently under construction.
Inga
: 31 year. Worked as the manager of a dental clinic. Three daughters: Angelica, who will turn 10 in July, Milana 2.4 and Diana 9 months. Dreaming of a son.
Have you always dreamed of having many children? What family are you from?
Catherine: Never! I had elder sister and we fought all the time. That's why I wanted to have just one child. And only having met her future husband, she agreed to two, and there she liked the result and we already have three!Inga: Yes, I always wanted to be a young mother and often imagined myself with three children. I only have a brother, but I also wanted a sister. But, my brother and I were always surrounded by cousins and second cousins and brothers, this created the feeling that we grew up in a large family.
Olga: Yes, I always wanted to have many children. And even now, having three, I am sure that this is not the limit. Very often I hear the phrase: "Are you a mother of many children? You can't tell by you!" She hurts my ears a lot. In society, unfortunately, it is believed that a mother of many children is a tortured, neglected, always tired, aging woman in a washed out apron. Despite the fact that today society is dominated by the opinion that large families are not prosperous, I would like to raise the prestige of large families by my personal example.
Thus, we see that future mothers had different attitudes towards having many children, but none of them regretted that she had many children. And, of course, the second half helps them to enjoy motherhood.
Do you have a mode or schedule of activities by the hour?
Catherine: Yes, I try to stick to a strict regimen. First, because I'm a boring perfectionist. Secondly, it is easier for children, and they are less capricious. If at 21-00 you have to go to bed, then it is already useless to ask to spit or watch a cartoon.Inga: We don't have a schedule. The eldest daughter is engaged in rhythmic gymnastics, studies at a school with an English bias and at a music school. The whole family, including toddlers, adjusts to her pace, activities and workouts. Everywhere you need to be in time and be the best!
Olga: Yes, on weekdays we have a clear daily routine, dictated by daily training and other additional activities for older children. We don't stick to schedules on weekends.
We conclude that a clear regime, schedule and action plan still exists and can sometimes be formed automatically.
Does your education, profession help you in education, planning, budgeting?
Catherine: Certainly. Houses are even simpler, the “team” and the budget are much smaller.Inga: I am an economist by profession, but not a diploma helps me in raising children and budgeting. Rather, life experience and intuition. As well as a clear understanding of the necessary and important.
Olga: Yes, they help. Since I am a lawyer, I got used to the clarity of thoughts and actions. I demand the same from my children. We have rules in almost every act of theirs: call from school, after school, put things away, etc.
So, a profession and a diploma for a mother of many children to help.
Inga: I don't know, maybe there are such courses. I haven't been able to visit these. You should always learn to be patient. Without this, it seems to me, it is very difficult, both for a “multi-mom” and for a mother with one baby. I would love to learn the skill of "how to defeat the lazy one in yourself." Yes, I think that I would make an intelligent teacher and I could teach a lot, life experience allows: I raised my eldest daughter alone and now I have no nannies and assistants.
Olga A: I have no problem with scheduling time. But if courses for moms existed, I would like to learn how to deal with fatigue and have a more positive attitude towards problems and stressful situations. If I were invited to teach, then I would probably be able to teach young mothers how to comfortably raise a child in field conditions with the help of modern gadgets and novelties in the children's industry: feed, change clothes, put to sleep in a car and how to organize it at the same time time. After all, my third baby most she spends her life in the car while I take the elders to classes and wait until they finish studying. On average 6-8 hours a day we are not at home. But at the same time, I was able to plan our time and life with him in such a way that he could develop harmoniously in such difficult conditions for him.
From the foregoing, we see that mothers with many children special courses did not finish, but they are not averse to constantly learning and improving. They are also willing to share their experience.
Do you have a favorite book, or a website, or a consultant who you turn to in a difficult situation?
Catherine: When the first child was born, there was a whole selection in favorites on various issues. Now there is kukuzya.ru for legal issues and just Yandex.Inga: I have a husband and intuition! And when it’s really difficult, I ask my mother what she would have done in this or that situation.
Olga: In difficult situations, I turn to my mother. On the Internet, I love the site mnogodetok.ru. I go in order to find information that interests me, I don’t sit on the forums.
Thus, the support of loved ones is important in any situation and at any age, and a good orientation in the information space will not hurt a modern mother of many children.
What was the best piece of advice that helped you get things done? Who gave it?
Catherine: "Calm mom - calm baby"And" Do all things with the children, and when they sleep - relax. Who gave, unfortunately, I do not remember, but the words are golden!Inga: I won’t say it verbatim, but approximately the “advice” sounded like this: “Your children are needed and important only to you. And if not you, then no one else!” I don’t remember who told me this, but I know for sure that these words move me forward every day.
Olga: A few years ago, the Flylady course helped me a lot in organizing time correctly, cleaning the house and the book "Communicate with a child HOW?", which helped me organize all family members correctly for teamwork.
Modern mothers of many children know how to listen to advice from various sources and draw useful conclusions from them.
Do you have helpers (grandmothers, nannies, girlfriends…)?
Catherine: By today's standards, I'm probably generally a parasite. I have a morning nanny, an au pair, to stroke, wash the floors, take a walk with the youngest if I need to leave (take the elders to the garden, go to the store). And in the evenings, sometimes my grandmother comes to sit with the little one, so that I can take my son to mugs. My conscience does not bother me for this. I will also recommend children to involve grandmothers, nannies and assistants to the maximum, and not to drag everything on themselves, if possible.Inga: I have no assistants. In rare cases, I can leave the children with my mother. My husband and I escaped alone to the event only recently, and our youngest daughter is 9 months old. Of course, sometimes I really want to quit everything, hide in a corner and start feeling sorry for myself ... But then I remember the “advice” and start moving on.
Olga: Not now. When I had only two children, when I reached the eldest three years old, I went to work and then the children were taken care of around the clock by a nanny living with me and a visiting housekeeper. I could devote time to children only on weekends. But the husband was categorically against such a family model. As a result, we refused both the nanny and the housekeeper to the detriment of my career growth. Now, with three kids, I can do it all by myself. We don't have grandparents around. My husband helps with cleaning on weekends.
Note that modern mothers of many children are ready to cope with their duties on their own. Each decides for herself whether she needs helpers or not. But we can recommend not to refuse help and do not forget to take time for yourself.
What is your favorite pastime when you are with the whole family? What events have you attended recently?
Catherine: Lie all together on the same bed and have fun. Last weekend, my dad went roller-skating with the elders. Then they all went to the game center together: they rode the carousels, played slot machines. Because The interests of the younger and the older are very different, so far it is difficult for us to combine leisure time for everyone together. But the son and the middle daughter already have common interests - a bicycle, roller skates, a pool.Inga: We have a lot of different favorite things to do: rollerblade, bike, scooter or play tic-tac-toe in the park. In traffic jams, we learn to count in our minds, multiply 2 and 3-digit numbers, pronounce the letters "r / l" There are a lot of hobbies, but there is very little time for this. We try to visit different places more often. Last month we were at the Circus on Tsvetnoy, at the presentation of the car, at the Tretyakov Gallery, watched a theater performance for kids, visited the Flacon Design Factory, went to KidZania, went to the Timiryazev Museum. This is not counting the various cafes and restaurants.
Olga: The last event that we visited with the whole family was the Children's Rock Festival. Every weekend we try to spend with the family in interesting place: planetarium, museum, theater, park, cinema, etc. Often in Lately We visit KidZania, the children really like it there.
Families with many children lead an energetic lifestyle, prefer active, rich pastime and recreation. Don't focus on life.
Dear mothers! Thank you for an interesting conversation and invaluable experience. To help you - our website "Children's Time". On it, you can easily and quickly find a lot of interesting offers for your large and uneven-age family.
And at the end - a quiz.
Finish the sentence:1. The most important thing in raising children is ...
- love and patience!
- Love!
- patience!
2. From a husband and father in a large family, first of all, it is required ...
- excerpt;
- patience.
- learn to be interchangeable with mom;
3. If you had a magic wand, then I would ...
- I wished that our house was completed as soon as possible!
I would slow down time!
- I would give it to my children, let them play. She would make them very happy. And in my life I already got everything I dreamed of! So, what is she like a modern mother of many children? Versatile, smart, sociable, energetic, patient, wise, with a good sense of humor… You can continue for a long time. The main thing is that in modern society there are more and more prosperous large families, where love and care are in the forefront. We wish them happiness!
A friendly, cheerful, big family is the result of parental work, patience, the desire to give their loved ones the best, to teach the most necessary things. To educate a child with a broad outlook, with internal moral values, to educate a person who will feel confident on the waves adult life, is a clear goal for every parent. How do large families cope with such educational tasks, where do they get strength for all their children, how important is it to be able to instill discipline, mutual respect and independence? Each large family has its own answers to this, its own recipes for a happy life.
Nikolai and Elena Korneta live in Zhukovsky near Moscow, they have three children. Nikolai works as a manager. Elena is a housewife, mother. Her main work is the care and education of Alexandra, Maria and Nikolai. With Elena, we talked about what joys and difficulties there are in the life of large families, what tasks parents solve, how they take into account the individuality of each child.
"Stork on the Roof": Elena, what would you first of all say to future parents who dream of a big, friendly family?
Elena Korneta: Before a family that plans to give birth to a child - the first, second, third, it doesn't matter - questions of a material nature (housing, income) and psychological ones inevitably arise. Many of my acquaintances, having no material obstacles, cannot even decide on a second child precisely because of psychological fears and concerns. When we were planning a third child, I constantly experienced anxiety and remorse that it would be too hard, that I could not cope, that I would abandon my daughters, because the eldest had to go to first grade, the youngest to kindergarten. But now I can say that fears just need to be overcome. The birth of a child is a natural and happy event. After the first post-birthday crazy days, everything falls into place, is ordered. in a natural way a daily schedule is built, there is a place for each child, husband, for himself, and after a few years for work.
"Aist": How did you and your husband come to the decision to become a large family? Was the support of relatives and friends important?
Elena: I always thought that I would have two children, maybe because I myself grew up in such a standard family. My husband, on the contrary, was an only child, but from the very first day of our marriage he planned a large family.
The decision to have a third child came somehow by itself. I suddenly realized that once again I want to become a mother, that there are opportunities, there are forces. Having many children gives some other perception of the family, in my opinion. Unusual feeling of unity, friendship. In addition, children grow up, from fools turn into full-fledged interlocutors, it's so amazing.
I think you should not be guided by the opinions of others when planning a family. I have the impression that our society accepts only one model - a family with two children. Families with one child, three or more, without children at all are considered an abnormal phenomenon. Of course, one must listen to the opinions of loved ones, especially if part of the care for the child falls on them, but the final decision can only be made by the spouses.
"Aist": Tell us about your leisure time, about the development of children. Is it possible to give each child due attention? How to find time for both daughters and son to develop as independent, unique personalities?
Elena: I don't work in the usual sense of the word, that is, I don't go to the office every day. My job is the daily care of children. I have enough time for each child. The eldest daughter is in the fourth grade, she needs help with homework and talk a lot with her: about school, about her affairs. A dangerous adolescence is coming, and I would like to approach it as much as possible trusting relationship. I am preparing my second daughter for school. She does not visit development centers, I, having a pedagogical education, work with her myself. My son is three years old, an active age, when everything is interesting and you want to do everything - sculpt, draw, listen to how books are read. Gadgets are not accepted in our family, children do not play computer games, the eldest daughter does not go online, is not registered in social networks, works with a computer only when doing school assignments. All her free time is eaten up by the dance studio.
We do not put pressure on children, they do what they want. The eldest daughter went to the pool and to dances, then she didn’t like the pool, now she only dances. The younger children do not attend anything yet, I organize all the leisure that remains after the kindergarten.
On weekend evenings, we like to get together at the table and play board games: loto, Monopoly, Scrabble, board games for children, which are now very numerous.
My husband and I try to introduce children to culture: we go to museums, to theaters, to exhibitions. Every year we definitely travel to the cities of Russia. We have already visited Kolomna, St. Petersburg, Novorossiysk. It was not easy with the little ones, but I hope they will have some memories.
Dad is actively involved in water tourism, he already takes his eldest daughter on small trips around Moscow.
"Aist": In large families, special attention is paid to discipline. Probably, some future parents may reasonably think that this will be the main difficulty in raising several children. What could you answer them?
Elena: In my opinion, discipline directly depends on the ability of an adult to handle a child and has nothing to do with the number of children. Serious disciplinary problems can also arise in a family with one child. Children are flexible and receptive, they are very organically integrated into the life of the family and exist according to its laws. What you allow your children to do, they will do, and subsequently demand. If initially, from birth, a child lives according to a clear, precise daily routine, knows when to walk, when to go to bed, how much to watch TV, then as they grow older, there will be no difficulties with this. Whims and uncontrollability are a direct consequence of a lack of understanding (or unwillingness) of parents to create an understandable, clear environment around the child.
Of course, children are not robots, and discipline is not training, it is pointless to demand absolute obedience. You need to be more relaxed about a certain percentage of "error". I myself, having a mild character, cannot boast of impeccable discipline.
"Aist": What support from the state is most in demand for you? And how would you rate the state's concern for large families in general?
Elena: Almost all the benefits provided by the state are in demand by us.
A very worthy maternity capital program, we took advantage of it by paying off part of the mortgage loan. But it seems to me that this program needs to be developed and expanded. Now the law allows a fairly narrow range of needs for which a family can spend materkapital. I think if families are given a wider choice of how to spend this money, there will actually be more people who want to give birth.
Of course, the opportunity to get a land plot. This is a huge plus for us. So far, we have not taken advantage of this benefit, but we are looking forward to it, because the opportunity to spend time in the country, in the fresh air, is very valuable for us.
It seems to me that preferential mortgage loans and other housing programs would be good help from the state for large families. There are many families who want to have a third child, but they are constrained by housing and simply cannot afford it. It would be great if the state showed interest in the emergence of new citizens and helped its citizens a little to make the right decision.
