Where Faina Ranevskaya sent annoying pioneers. "Pioneers, go to ...!" and other curious cases from the life of Faina Ranevskaya ← Hodor
1. I am watching this film for the fourth time and I must tell you that today the actors played like never before
2. I hate you. Wherever I go, everyone looks around and says: “Look, this is Mulya, don’t annoy me, she’s coming”
3. Pioneers, go to hell (when she was surrounded by a crowd of children with joyful exclamations: “Mulya! Mulya!”)
4. There are people in whom God lives; There are people in whom the devil lives; And there are people that live only worms
5. We were accustomed to single-celled words, scant thoughts, play Ostrovsky after that!
6. There are two, maybe three thoughts in my old head, but at times they raise such a fuss that it seems there are thousands of them.
7. Damned nineteenth century, damned upbringing: can't stand when men are sitting
8. Animals, which are few, are listed in the Red Book, and which are many - in the Book of Tasty and Healthy Food
9. On an empty stomach, a Russian person does not want to do anything and think, but on a full stomach, he cannot
10. I'm like an old palm tree at the station - no one needs it, but it's a pity to throw it away
11. I spoke for a long time and unconvincingly, as if I were talking about the friendship of peoples
12. My life ... I lived around, everything did not work out. Like a redhead by the carpet
13. Was at the doctor today "ear-throat-ass"
14. Beautiful people shit too
15. If you do not drink and do not smoke, worms will start in the eggs.
17. This actress's ass hangs and dangles like a hussar's bag.
18. Pee-pee in a tram - everything he did in art!
19. I do not recognize the word "play". You can play cards, horse races, checkers. Live on stage
20. It's hard to be a genius among boogers
21. Nothing can hold back the pressure of beauty! (looking at the hole in her skirt)
22. What do I do? feigning health
23. I feel myself, but badly
24. If the patient really wants to live, doctors are powerless
25. It’s scary when you’re eighteen inside, when you admire beautiful music, poetry, painting, and it’s time for you, you haven’t done anything, but you’re just starting to live!
26. My God, how life slipped by, I never even heard the nightingales sing
27. Thoughts are drawn to the beginning of life - it means that life is coming to an end
28. When they don’t give me a role, I feel like a pianist whose hands were cut off.
29. I am a provincial actress. Wherever I served! Only in the city of Vezdesransk did not serve ...
30. I, by virtue of the talent given to me, squeaked like a mosquito
31. I lived with many theaters, but never enjoyed it.
32. Lesbianism, homosexuality, masochism, sadism are not perversions. There are, in fact, only two perversions: field hockey and ballet on ice.
33. Perpetum male (about director Z.)
34. I receive letters: "Help me become an actor." I answer: "God will help!"
35. He will die from fantasy expansion
36. All my life I swam in the toilet with a butterfly style.
37. Satellite of glory - loneliness
38. Family replaces everything. Therefore, before you start it, you should think about what is more important to you: everything or family.
39. Let it be a little gossip that should disappear between us
40. Explaining to someone why the condom is white, Ranevskaya said: "Because White color fat"
41. A child from the first grade of school should be taught the science of loneliness
42. Tolstoy said that there is no death, but there is love and memory of the heart. The memory of the heart is so painful, it would be better if it did not exist ... It would be better to kill the memory forever
43. It has always been incomprehensible to me - people are ashamed of poverty and not ashamed of wealth
44. Do you understand my shallow thought?
45. Discussing a recently deceased actress friend: “I wish I had her legs—she had lovely legs! It's a pity - now they will disappear "
46. You know, when I saw this bald man on an armored car, I realized: big troubles await us (about Lenin)
47. This is not a room. This is a real well. I feel like a bucket that was dropped there
48. "You will not believe, Faina Georgievna, but no one has kissed me yet, except for the groom." - "Are you boasting, my dear, or are you complaining?"
49. If a woman walks with her head down, she has a lover! If a woman walks with her head held high, she has a lover! If a woman keeps her head straight - she has a lover! And in general - if a woman has a head, then she has a lover!
50. In Moscow, you can go out into the street dressed as God wills, and no one will pay attention. In Odessa, my print dresses cause general bewilderment - this is discussed in hairdressing salons, dental outpatient clinics, trams, and private homes. Everyone is upset by my monstrous "stinginess" - for no one believes in poverty
51. The union of a stupid man and a stupid woman gives rise to a mother-heroine. The union of a stupid woman and a smart man creates a single mother. Union smart woman and a stupid man gives rise to an ordinary family. The union of a smart man and a smart woman gives rise to easy flirting
52. Now, when a person is embarrassed to say that he does not want to die, he says this: he really wants to survive in order to see what will happen next. As if if not for this, he would immediately be ready to lie down in a coffin.
53. To the question: "Are you sick, Faina Georgievna?" - she usually answered: "No, I just look like that"
54. Once Ranevskaya was asked: Why beautiful women are more successful than the smart ones? "It's obvious because there are very few blind men, and stupid men are a dime a dozen"
55. What do you think women tend to be more faithful brunette or blonde? Without hesitation, she replied: “Gray-haired!”
56. An employee of the Radio Committee N. constantly experienced dramas because of her love relationships with a colleague, whose name was Sima: then she sobbed because of another quarrel, then he left her, then she had an abortion from him Ranevskaya called her "HeraSima's victim"
57. The pearls that I will wear in the first act must be real, the capricious young actress demands. “Everything will be real,” Ranevskaya reassures her. “Everything: pearls in the first act, and poison in the last”
58. Sclerosis cannot be cured, but it can be forgotten
59. Who would know my loneliness? Damn him, this same talent that made me unhappy
60. Once Yuri Zavadsky, artistic director of the Theater. The Moscow City Council, where Faina Georgievna Ranevskaya worked (and with whom she had far from cloudless relations), shouted in the heat of the actress: "Faina Georgievna, you gobbled up all my director's idea with your game!" "Something I have the feeling that I ate shit!" - retorted Ranevskaya
61. Some man pushed Ranevskaya walking down the street, and even cursed with dirty words. Faina Georgievna told him:
For a number of reasons, I cannot now answer you in the words you use. But I sincerely hope that when you return home, your mother will jump out of the gateway and bite you properly.
62. Actors discuss at a troupe meeting of a comrade who is accused of homosexuality: "This is the corruption of youth, this is a crime."
“My God, an unfortunate country where a person cannot dispose of his ass,” Ranevskaya sighed.
63. I don’t drink, I don’t smoke anymore and I never cheated on my husband because I never had one, Ranevskaya said, anticipating possible questions from a journalist.
- So, - the journalist does not lag behind, so you don’t have any shortcomings at all?
“In general, no,” Ranevskaya answered modestly, but with dignity. And after a short pause she added:
- True, I have a big ass and sometimes I lie a little!
64. When the Sistine Madonna was brought to Moscow, everyone went to look at it. Faina Georgievna heard a conversation between two officials from the Ministry of Culture. One claimed that the picture did not impress him. Ranevskaya remarked:
“This lady has impressed such people for so many centuries that now she herself has the right to choose whom she impresses and who not!”
65 – How many times does a woman blush in her life?
- Four times: on the wedding night, when she cheats on her husband for the first time, when she takes money for the first time, when she gives money for the first time.
— And the man?
- Twice: the first time when the second cannot, the second - when the first cannot
66. Ranevskaya with all her family and huge luggage arrives at the station.
“It's a pity that we didn't take the piano,” says Faina Georgievna.
“Not witty,” one of the escorts remarks.
“It’s really not witty,” Ranevskaya sighs, “the fact is that I left all the tickets on the piano
67. - The bell does not work, when you come, knock with your feet.
- Why feet?
But you're not going to come empty-handed!
68. - Have you ever been told that you look like Brigitte Bardot?
- No never.
- And it's right that they didn't say
69. - Today I killed 5 flies: two males and three females.
- How did you define it?
“Two sat on a beer bottle, and three on a mirror,” Faina Georgievna explained.
70. - You are still young and look great.
- I can not answer you with the same compliment!
- And you would, like me, lied!
71. - Yesterday I was visiting N. And I sang for them for two hours ...
- That's what they need! I can't stand them either!
72.- I adore nature.
"And this after what she did to you?"
73. - Faina Georgievna, how are you?
- Do you know, my dear, what is shit? So it is compared to my life - jam
74. - How is your life, Faina Georgievna?
- I told you last year that shit. But then it was marzipan
75. - Madam, could you change me a hundred dollars?
- Alas! But thanks for the compliment!
76.- Why do women devote so much time and money to their appearance and not the development of intelligence?
- Because there are far fewer blind men than smart ones.
77. When I die, bury me and write on the monument: "Died of disgust"
78. - Why don't you write memoirs?
“Life takes so much time from me that I don’t have time to write about it.
79. Ranevskaya, when asked how she feels today, replied:
— Disgusting passport data. I looked at my passport, saw what year I was born, and just gasped ...
80. Ranevskaya indignantly declares:
“Oh, those insufferable journalists! Half the lies they spread about me are not true
81. Getting old is boring, but it's the only way to live long.
82. - Old age, - said Ranevskaya, - this is the time when candles on a birthday cake cost more than the cake itself, and half of the urine goes to tests
83. Memories are the wealth of old age
84. I was born unrevealed and I am leaving life unrevealed. I don't...
85. I was smart enough to live my life stupidly
86. Making a bad movie is like spitting into eternity.
87. Well, I come across faces, not faces, but personal grief! I enter the theater like a garbage chute: falseness, cruelty, hypocrisy. Not one honest word, not one honest eye! Careerism, meanness, greedy old women!
88. Sick of the theater. Country toilet. It's a shame to end your life in the toilet
89. I was at the theater yesterday, the actors played so badly, especially Desdemona, that when Othello strangled her, the audience applauded for a very long time
90. Zavadsky is given awards not on merit, but on needs. He does not have only the title "Mother Heroine"
91. Zavadsky dreams that he is buried in Red Square
92. Zavadsky was born not in a shirt, but in a raccoon coat
93. A fan asks Ranevskaya's home phone number. She:
"Honey, how do I know him?" I never call myself.
94. The closet of Lyubov Petrovna Orlova is so full of clothes that the moth living in it cannot learn to fly!
95. - Have you heard how unlucky the writer N. is? - asked Ranevskaya.
No, what happened to him?
He fell and broke his right leg.
“Really, no luck. What will he write now? Faina Georgievna sympathized
96. A journalist asks Ranevskaya:
What do you think is the difference between smart person and fool?
“The fact is, young man, that a smart man knows what this difference is, but never asks about it.”
97. - Who was your mother before marriage? - the stubborn interviewer asked Ranevskaya.
“I didn’t have a mother before her marriage,” Faina Georgievna stopped further questions.
98. Ranevskaya was asked if she loved Richard Strauss, and they heard in response:
- Like Richard I love Wagner, and like Strauss - Johann
100. In the theater:
- Excuse me, Faina Georgievna, but you sat on my fan! - What? It seemed to me that it was blowing from below
101. Ranevskaya stood completely naked in her make-up room. And smoked. Suddenly, the managing director of the Mossovet Theater Valentin Shkolnikov entered without knocking. And froze in shock. Faina Georgievna calmly asked:
“Does it shock you that I smoke?”
102 – Why did God create women so beautiful and so stupid? Ranevskaya was once asked.
- Beautiful - so that men can love them, and stupid - so that they can love men
103. - And where would you like to go, Faina Georgievna - to heaven or hell? - asked Ranevskaya.
“Of course, heaven is preferable because of the climate, but I would be happier in hell because of the company,” Faina Georgievna reasoned.
104. Ranevskaya was asked:
— How can a person with whom misfortune befall be comforted?
“An intelligent person will be comforted when he realizes the inevitability of what has happened. The fool takes comfort in the fact that the same will happen to others.
105. A woman, in order to succeed in life, must have two qualities. She must be smart enough to please stupid men, and stupid enough to please smart men.
106. - And what do you think, who is smarter - men or women? - asked Ranevskaya.
“Women are smarter, of course. Have you ever heard of a woman who would lose her head just because a man has Beautiful legs?
107. Either I'm getting old and stupid, or today's youth is not like anything! Before, I just didn’t know how to answer their questions, but now I don’t even understand what they are asking about.
108. You need to live in such a way that you are remembered even by bastards
109. - Faina Georgievna, do you think sitting in the toilet is mental work or physical?
- Of course, mental. If it was a physical job, I would hire a person
110. Ranevskaya explains to her grandson how a fairy tale differs from were:
- A fairy tale is when he married a frog, and she turned out to be a princess. And reality is when the opposite is true
111. Amazing... When I was 20 years old, I only thought about love. Now I just like to think
112. If a woman tells a man that he is the smartest, then she understands that she will not find another such fool
113 – When I retire, I will do absolutely nothing. The first months I will just sit in a rocking chair.
- And then?
"Then I'll start swaying...
114. My favorite disease is scabies: I scratched myself and still want to. And the most hated is hemorrhoids: neither to see for yourself, nor to show people
115. - Faina, - her old friend asked, - do you think medicine is making progress?
— But how. In my youth at the doctor, I had to undress every time, but now it’s enough to show my tongue
116. Nature has carefully thought out the structure of our organism. So that we can see how much we overeat, our stomach is located on the same side of the body as the eyes.
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website decided to recall witty sayings great actress, which at one time forced the interlocutors to be silent for a long time.
Quotes
- All my life I have swum in the toilet with a butterfly stroke.
- We were accustomed to single-celled words, scant thoughts, play Ostrovsky after that!
- Horseradish, put on the opinions of others, provides a calm and happy life.
- Under the most beautiful tail of a peacock hides the most ordinary chicken ass. So less pathos, gentlemen.
- I am like eggs: I participate, but I do not enter.
- Why are all women so stupid?
- Do you know what it's like to act in films? Imagine that you are washing in a bathhouse, and a tour is being led there.
- Life is a long jump from n * zdy to the grave.
- I'm like an old palm tree at the station - no one needs it, but it's a pity to throw it away.
- For an actress, there are no disadvantages if it is necessary for the role.
- When I start writing memoirs, beyond the phrase: “I was born in the family of a poor oilman ...”, - I can’t do anything.
- To gain recognition, one must, even must, die.
- Lesbianism, homosexuality, masochism, sadism are not perversions. There are, in fact, only two perversions: field hockey and ballet on ice.
- Beautiful people shit too.
- I do not recognize the word "play". You can play cards, horse races, checkers. You have to live on the stage.
- Everything pleasant in this world is either harmful, or immoral, or leads to obesity.
- I hate you. Wherever I go, everyone looks around and says: “Look, this is Mulya, don’t annoy me, she’s coming.”
- Everyone is free to dispose of his ass as he wants. So I pick mine up and fuck it
- I get letters: "Help me become an actor." I answer: "God will help!".
- Women are smarter, of course. Have you ever heard of a woman who would lose her head just because a man has beautiful legs?
- Pee-pee in a tram is all he did in art.
- Talent is self-doubt and painful dissatisfaction with yourself and your shortcomings, which I have never seen in mediocrity.
- I am watching this film for the fourth time and I must tell you that today the actors played like never before.
- Better be a good man, "swearing" than a quiet, well-mannered creature.
Actress stories
Once Ranevskaya stood in her make-up room completely naked. And smoked. Suddenly, without knocking, the director, manager of the Mossovet Theater Valentin Shkolnikov entered her. And froze in shock. Faina Georgievna calmly asked: “Does it shock you that I smoke?”
Explaining to someone why the condom is white, Ranevskaya said: "Because white makes you fat."
Ranevskaya was asked: “Which women, in your opinion, tend to be more faithful brunettes or blondes?” Without thinking, she replied: "Greys!".
Once in the theater, a young capricious actress declared: "The pearls that I will wear in the first act must be real." “Everything will be real,” Ranevskaya reassures her, “Everything: pearls in the first act, and poison in the last”.
K. Krylov about the Ranevskys.
One of the main and still underestimated reasons for the decline in the authority of the Soviet-Russian intelligentsia (which was indisputable by the end of the 80s) is not its anti-patriotism, Russophobia, lack of a positive program, etc. She's been like this before - and nothing. Everyone crawled on their belly in front of Mikhail Zhvanetsky, Bulat Okudzhava and others.
However, she was not forgiven for the banal failure to fulfill her direct professional duties. That is, excuse me, creative.
Well, that is. The intelligentsia must create culture. Write books there, shoot movies and so on. You can shepherd peoples only to the extent that you have produced a valuable product. Leo Tolstoy first wrote War and Peace, and then he began to teach all sorts of abominations. If he hadn't written "War and Peace" first, no one would have listened to the old bastard. Would be considered a city madman. And with "War and Peace" - wow, shook the thrones.
Sovpis and modern “War and Peace” did not have, but at least they produced something. From books that could more or less be read, and movies that could more or less be watched, to some sketches by Zhvanetsky and songs by Vysotsky. The product was of disgusting quality, but at least it was. And it gave the moral right, if not to shake thrones, then to carry a fig in your pocket and indignantly fart into asparagus.
However, after 1991, all intellectual creativity seemed to be cut off. Cultural production sank by ninety-five percent. That is, there was nothing at all except imports. And when import substitution began, it was taken up by some boors who had the most remote relation to the okudzhavschikov.
Naturally, they tried to restore the situation by urgently gathering various shtetl and aul geniuses and appointing them as writers, actors and tyry-pyry. But if earlier you were hungry, now, no matter how you put street or bykov on the first shelves, they will still lie there for years. For the average Russian person will not read them, he would rather take something translated (a woman - Anna Gavalda, a peasant - "Game of Thrones"), and if he wants sweet bread, there is fantasy about hitmen and stalkers. I’m not talking about cinema: as soon as the possibility of stealing money appeared, Russian cinema became smelly and obscene, with the exception of series for the people, made not by Intel, but by cheap creators under the supervision of who knows who. We will mournfully keep silent about songs and dances. In general, emptiness.
Of course, for twenty or thirty years you can ride on old yeast, trading yourself as artifacts of Soviet culture. “We command the holy names of Ranevskaya, Akhedzhakova and Makarevich - obey and obey!” But now there are too many people for whom Ranevskaya and Akhedzhakova are not saints. It even dawned on some that Akhedzhakova was a crappy actor and a stupid woman. And most importantly, neither Ranevskaya nor Akhedzhakova will play anything else, sing or dance. One Andrey Makarevich is still taking the rap in his old age. And the changer is not visible.
Hence the disrespect. “You don’t have any goods, only arrogant faces.”
And the system rests only on the fact that the next generations are simply not allowed on the TV and on the shelves. Otherwise, the whole motherfucking whore would have been taken to hell long ago.
The outstanding actress of the 20th century, Faina Georgievna Ranevskaya, according to contemporaries, in addition to her unsurpassed acting talent, also possessed amazing wisdom and wit.
1. You need to live in such a way that you are remembered even by bastards.
2. Faina Georgievna, how are you?
- Do you know, my dear, what is shit? So here it is compared to my life - jam.
-How is life, Faina Georgievna?
I told you last year that shit. But then it was marzipan.
3. Life is a long jump from p...zdy to the grave
4. On an empty stomach, a Russian person does not want to do anything and think, but on a full stomach, he cannot.
5. Lesbianism, homosexuality, masochism, sadism are not perversions. There are, in fact, only two perversions: field hockey and ballet on ice.
6. If a woman walks with her head down, she has a lover! If a woman walks with her head held high, she has a lover! If a woman keeps her head straight - she has a lover! And in general - if a woman has a head, then she has a lover!
7. This lady can already choose for herself whom she impresses.
8. God made women beautiful so that men could love them, and stupid so that they could love men.
9. Women are, of course, smarter. Have you ever heard of a woman who would lose her head just because a man has beautiful legs?
10. Looking at the hole in her skirt: Nothing can hold back the pressure of beauty!
11. To the question: "Are you sick, Faina Georgievna?" - she habitually answered: "No, I just look like that."
12. "All my life I've been swimming in the toilet with the butterfly style."
13. A fairy tale is when he married a frog, and she turned out to be a princess. A true story is when the opposite is true.
14. If the patient really wants to live, doctors are powerless.
15. Family replaces everything. Therefore, before you start it, you should think about what is more important to you: everything or family.
16. I lived with many theaters, but never enjoyed it.
17. I receive letters: "Help me become an actor." I answer: "God will help!"
18. A real man is a man who remembers a woman's birthday exactly and never knows how old she is. A man who never remembers a woman's birthday but knows exactly how old she is is her husband.
19. It has always been incomprehensible to me - people are ashamed of poverty and not ashamed of wealth.
20. Discussing a recently deceased actress friend: - I wish I had her legs - she had lovely legs! Too bad they're gone now...
21. In a rest house for a walk, a friend heartily declares:
I love nature.
Ranevskaya stops, carefully examines her and says:
And this after what she did to you?
22. It is known that Ranevskaya allowed herself strong language, and when she was remarked that there is no word "ass" in the literary Russian language, she replied - it's strange, there is no word, but there is an ass ...
23. Once a group of children from a neighboring school came to visit Faina Georgievna. And she, poor thing, had a migraine (whoever experienced it at least once will understand). Call. Having hardly reached the door, the FGR opens it, sees the beaming faces of the schoolchildren, who provocatively squeal some "chants" at once and understands that they need to say something to the children in response ... but, the head breaks so much that after going through several options, Ranevskaya stops at the shortest one and says: "Pioneers! ... Fuck you!" ... and slams the door ...
24. Somehow, after the performance, already naked for changing clothes in the dressing room, Ranevskaya smoked ... The director entered or ... well, in general, a man .... Ranevskaya, after another puff: Does it bother you that I smoke ?!. ..
25. At one time, it was Eisenstein who gave the shy, stuttering debutante, who had just appeared at Mosfilm, advice that had a significant impact on her life.
Faina, - said Eisenstein, - you will die if you do not learn to demand attention to yourself, to force people to obey your will. You will die and you will not be an actress!
Soon Ranevskaya showed her mentor that she had learned something.
Upon learning that she was not approved for the role in Ivan the Terrible, she became indignant and, in response to someone's question about the filming of this film, shouted:
I'd rather blow the skin off my ass than shoot with Eisenstein!
26. Ranevskaya and Marlene Dietrich meet.
Tell me, - asks Ranevskaya, - that's why you are all so thin and slender, and we are big and fat?
We just have a special diet: in the morning - a cupcake, in the evening - sex.
Well, what if it doesn't help?
Then exclude flour.
27. The pearls that I will wear in the first act must be real, the capricious young actress demands.
Everything will be real, ”Ranevskaya reassures her. - Everything: pearls in the first act, and poison in the last.
28. Ranevskaya was constantly late for rehearsals. Zavadsky was tired of this, and he asked the actors that if Ranevskaya was late again, just ignore her.
Runs in, out of breath, to the rehearsal Faina Georgievna:
Hello!
Everyone is silent.
Hello!
Nobody pays attention. She for the third time:
Hello!
Again the same reaction.
Oh, there is no one?! Then I'll go possu.
29. A journalist asks Ranevskaya:
What do you think is the difference between a smart person and a fool?
The thing is, young man, that a smart man knows what this difference is, but never asks about it.
30. Rina Zelenaya said:
In the sanatorium, Ranevskaya was sitting at the table with some kind of bore, who always blamed food. And the soup is cold, and the cutlets are not salty, and the compote is not sweet. (Maybe, really.) At breakfast, he said disgustedly: "Well, what kind of eggs are these? Laughter is one. As a child, my mother, I remember, had eggs!"
And you do not confuse her with daddy? - inquired Ranevskaya.
31. Olga Aroseva said that, already at an advanced age, Faina Georgievna was walking down the street, slipped and fell. Lying on the sidewalk and screaming in his inimitable voice:
People! Pick me up! After all folk artists don't lie on the street!
32. I don't drink, I don't smoke anymore and I never cheated on my husband - because I have his
never happened, - said Ranevskaya, anticipating possible questions from a journalist.
- So, - the journalist does not lag behind, - so you don't have any shortcomings at all?
- In general, no, - Ranevskaya answered modestly, but with dignity.
And after a short pause she added:
- True, I have a big ass and sometimes I lie a little ...
33. And where would you like to go, Faina Georgievna - to heaven or hell? - asked Ranevskaya.
Of course, heaven is preferable because of the climate, but I would be happier in hell because of the company, Faina Georgievna reasoned.
